felixpena88's Xanga

Monday, September 22, 2008

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 12:10:37 GMT

Today is the day I am home...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Tue, 25 Sep 2007 03:11:01 GMT

Well readers.. if you must know, i just got dumped from my boyfriend. it was a shock for me, i mean. This world i have vision is something special for him and I. He and I met each other when we was a kid in new york. I moved to florida, and we talk again. We were thrilled, and then he ask me if i am actually bi. I told him yeah, he come out to me. I didn't know. Something spark between us, but now, he called it over. He gives up so easily after i express my feeling to him that he been playing xbox360 a lot. He act like he dont have time to talk to me. How pathetic is that? He made this whole ball of pain and threw at me to feel the pain. Another pain i am feeling is from the surgery. I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled out. Pain from surgery + break up= double pain. *shurg*, not good feeling. Looking at the sky during the night while i am laying on my bed. It kind of help me to try to be relax. sometimes, i feel nature is speaking to me. Like it saying next day should be okay, i should move on.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 19:36:42 GMT

For the past 4 weeks ago, i drew an awful picture, but my teacher help to shape my art technique to be good. I realized my teacher is a good teacher. She whup my ass and pick on my drawing arts.

Viola!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Mon, 03 Sep 2007 17:35:42 GMT

Greeting Xanga readers!

What's new with me? My life has turn into positive, but no negative. That's good!. I can't deal with this depression that i used to had and suffer to work hard to get what i want. The reason why my previous life was so depression. I will tell you why. VCC (Valencia Community College) on Osceola Campus is awful. I took CPT. It's a placement test. I took it and they put me in lower level for uncredit class level. I remember myself going first day of school. I went to first day of class, and i sit down. Teacher was teaching. I was like... I thought it to myself. Am i in wrong class? Teacher taught basic English and try to teach them how to write basic English and teach them how to speak English.

I found out that CPT was a test but they ask me few question. One question ask me is English my primary language.? I answered no because American sign language is my primary language. Another question ask me what ethic i am. I answer that I'm Hispanic. It so stupid how can VCC- Osceola put me in lower level just because American Sign Language is my primary language and Hispanic which they assume i come from another question. They are right that i do come from another country but i came to America when i was 2 years old. I also go to school from K-12. I do know how to write English but it so sad that they are so stupid to place me in wrong level of class. I fight for it. They realized they made a mistake and i prove them wrong by show them my ACT score, my gpa and my high school diploma. I already show them everything but sadly they don't do anything wrong. It is wrong of them because supposed if you are so smart and they place you in wrong class. You were so passive and take the class but you knew the foundation already. Is it worth to waste your money? *scoff*, I wouldn't let them.

One of my experince is when i took English class. One of my teacher didn't meet my acccodmation. Accodmation is reminds teacher to meet my hearing disabled needs. Guesss what, she didn't. She always try to give me hard time. I always show up to tutoring. Sometimes, tutoring notice my English structure is so good but just some of them need some works on it. My English teacher didn't do anything. Before and after class, i always ask teacher if she can work on one- on one. I was only being a brown nose to her just because i want to get a good grade. Believe me, that teacher is so friggin stupid. It's like she come from another planet. I knew a staff work from another campus but still working under VCC. Her name is Julie. I am so glad i met her and already knew her. She know how deaf's world is like but she once told me that she never met a deaf student who happen to be so intelligent and never give up on education. I complained to her for several of things. She got annoy by my complainant but she came to see it for herself. She realized she didn't meet any of my accommodation, and she also knew something funny is going on. For example, i was supposed to take 3 state test. I went to testing center becaues it was more quiet, and easy to focus on test. Of course teacher wasn't there but there are some people who in charge of holding test and give them out. Of course they do have stricts rules about the test. I always follow it. On that day, i only take 2 test but i ask that person who work in testing center. I asked her aren't there more test? She only gave me 2 test. After that, i got an email from her and she kind of threaten me that she going to fail me. I was like whoa. I just knew it that i have to forward my email to my sign language coordinator. She helped me out and i have to call in work to take the test on Monday. I was so upset but teacher dare to waste my time. Anyway, i took the test. I came to testing center and ask two staff who work in testing center. They told me the honest answer. The teacher never gave them 3 tests. She only gave 2 tests.

I was so pissed. Of course i am! I always have complain to my advisor. She always give me advices and decided not to do anything about it. I try to work my way work with teacher but it didn't work. I decided to explain my situation to Julie. She gives me a lot of advices. I did whole of her advices and now she open her eyes. It wasn't just me that i'm failing english class. I spoke with Dean (same concept meaning as principal ). I explain my situation. Now he's aware of my situation but gave me 2 choices. One is to write and set up a meeting and another one is something but i forgot. I was done discussing with him.I was like fuck it. What is dean going to do? Of course he's going to do nothing. My teacher's going to retired anyway. I was out of the office. I saw my teacher and she knew what i was up to. She was trying to defend herself Geez, she's so cleaver. She's one evil bitch that trying to give me hard time through out spring and summer semester.

Although, Julie told me to go to VCC- east campus which is more better. She never visit VCC- Osceola and she noticed it has really stink services. i decided to trust on her on this one which i decided to go to east campus. On my first day of VCC- east campus, I was awe with many students and it was full of spirit. I also enjoy most of my class but i have to take only one class that i failed. That's why, my life turning into positive because all teacher treats me respect and i gave them respect. My life at VCC-east campus is only just a beginning. Although, i am working less because i want to focus more on school.I can get my A.S. in graphic design so soon. Luckily i finally got SSI right on time. I dont have to worry about money issue.

This is why my life has turn into a positive way. Oh yeah, even more postive, i can't wait for president Bush to finish his term. I heard Hilary clintion is going to be candidate for president on 2008. Geez, i can't stand president bush because tax is increasing and everything seems to be increase. Sad news, i heard there is money issue for tax & medicare. Many older people are so furious! President bush mess up everything but i miss president Bill Clinton. He kept economy's up slowly and focus on people need. Bush only focus on business and spend money on stupid wars. Sheesh, that's dirty politic.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 00:10:57 GMT

I am back!

Well, well, well.. It's been a long time that i haven't update web log entry. I been told that i haven't update my xanga for pretty long time.

There's a lot of things change in my life completely. I still go to Valencia Community College and still working at Disney.

New thing about me? Well, I am bisexual and i know it must be a shock for you when you read this. I am still same person you love, and i might be still the funniest person. Also, my parent know about this. I told everyone include my parent but not my whole family. My parent doesn't want my whole family to know about me. It's sad that my mom tend to keep everything as a secret. For example, my mom kept secret that my brother Patrick isn't my blood brother. He was adopted! I wonder why my mom have to keep things secret. What the point of this keeping as a secret. We are family, and we supposed to love each other no matter what. *chuckle*. My mom used to say I love you no matter what. In some way, she does have funny way to show it. I am not going to worry about it. The stronger i believe in myself, the stronger person i have become. I have become more closer with two of my aunt and one of my uncle. My aunt Jennifer, she's lesbian. She told me things about my mom which i never know my mom's side. Also, my another aunt Denise and my uncle Ramon. They lived in NY. They do tells me things about my mom. OF course, i was hurt and surprised that how my mom behave like this.

Anyway, i want to tell you short things about my week vacation with n3 and Janna. N3 is my best friend. I cerish him a lot. He and I been friend since i was in 4th grade. It has been a long time. He and I been tight. I am proud that he is my best friend. I still rememeber this quote. It seem almost like it was yesterday he told me this quote. "Don't stand in front of me, i dont want to be a follower. Dont stand behind me, I dont want to be a leader. Stand side by side.". Guess what? It's true. He still stand side by side even thou i told him I was bisexual. Of course, he was shock and didn't know my deepest secret. I also told him many another secret which he's shock. He also told me that he will support me no matter what. He does still show it.

Janna, I am soo happy to see Janna is the one for n3. N3 let janna to be part of his life. I have to be honest with you. Since i grew up with n3, i dont really see him that happy or deserve anything back from his girl whenever he gives a lot of his love. *chuckle*, i remember when i was in high school. Everyone think he is with Lisa Velez. They just happen to be good friend but of course n3 keep chasing her. LOL, but hey every1 chase their girl who they desire. anyway, that is little off the point. My point is that I am glad Janna is the one for him. In fact, Janna and I dont really have anything against each other. Most of n3's exes try to push me off of n3's "so called best friend frame". I do really adore Janna very much. She and i make up our inside joke. oh boy.. it is not going to be inside joke anymore. n3 was using a sign language "exciting" it just happen that i make it up and told n3 Heartyyy in "exciting sign language". But then, Janna keep using it and she just happen to like that sign langage and think it's funny. Also, we got another inside joke which is buzz.It's kind of hard to explain thru xanga. although, it still inside joke of BUZZZZ!!!. hahha.

aren't they a cute couple?

St. Petersburg, Florida is such a nice beach. It's warm, wavy, and soooooo hot outside.

yeah, that's me. I know, i was sooo friggin tan mofo. I look like a nigga.

Oh yeah, if you plan to come to florida. I strongly recommed you to bring sunblock because you will need it so bad.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 20:14:11 GMT

GRAVITY BONG IS AWESOME!!!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:49:51 GMT

WHOA!! THIS IS SOOO FUCKIN AWESOME!. This is 2-d chalk art.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 21:20:53 GMT

(yestersday) Novemeber 17th, 2006- Happy belated Birthday Lisa

(tomorrow) Novemeber 19th, 2006- Happy one day early Birthday Nick2

Edit: Happy Birthday NICK3(is that better n3?)

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 01:12:28 GMT

Is family supposed to spend together at Thanksgiving?..

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 02:56:45 GMT

Wow, I haven't update xanga pretty long.

It been two weeks, but filled with stressed.

I just got transfer to level 4 from level 2. I catch up with a lot of works i need for class. As soon it approaching to midterm, my teacher forgot to inform me to catch up with 20 hours lab. I was overwhelmed and working on it for two days and miss work. Education is important thou. All i earn is 14 hours of labs. It wasn't easy. My immune system crash, that how i got sick, and i didn't even go to doctor. I ingored my health more than a week but caught up with work and school. It is hard to find times for myself.

Last weekend was FSDB's homecoming, of course i went there. I pay for hotel, and pick up my brother rafael. Jt and I chat a lot. So many things happen.

Anyway, Saturday night was my first time for getting drunk and get high. Other times i did went to party but i wont try weed, i wont get myself drunk cuz i am driving. It was saturday night, and i plan to go back to late sunday morning. Unforunlately something happen.

I first come in the house. It was very cozy and warm. It almost like a home. We all gather around to the table where the bottles and metal shot cup. I saw my brother took pipe. I haven't try it yet. I couldn't and couldn't. I finally break my vow. I took deep breath of blunt and exhale out the smoke. Nothing happen. I smoke two times. I went back to seat. There was a girl sit on my lap. Other people drank 2 or 3 shots. I took 8 shot like in 5 minutes. There one girl name Lucy, she was surprised and try to make competition with me. Jt was whoa, r u drunk yet or not. I told her no. I took shots, and the total was 17. At around 13 shots, i started to feel buzz. I told jt that i feel my brain is spinning in my head. She laughed.

It was werid but very insteresting experince. Next morning, i found myself in boxer, and i was cold. I saw my brother sleep next to me. I was like huh? what i did last night? I got out of room, and saw few of my friends. They all come up to me, act scarced, and worried and told me never do that again. They explain the story to me. I was shocked. I couldnt remember whole things. Some of memories come back to me. They told me, I was drunk, and i took pipe and my drunk personality is different. My drunk personality is mean, quiet, and if someone tap on my shoulder. I keep saying why u touch me, and i act like i am threating them. I was like wow, i find this very surprsing abt my drunk side. They also told me that i was unconscious, and act werid. I throw up a lot and i couldn't breathe. Some says i act like fuck up and act like someone else. Some says i was possed by a devil.

When i get back home, i went to work on monday morning. I almost feel faint, and kinda weak. Manager noticed i wasn't myself and told me that i should go home for a rest becuase he know how it is hard to be a student and work at samet ime. I didn't go home, and i went to doctor. I found out that i have bicthortis, lung infection and sinus infection. I realized that i shouldn't ingore my health when i caught up with school and work even i ingored my health more than a week. That not good.

At least, i survive my first drunk, high, and unconscious for 2 hours.